For example coffee……my one and only power source. If coffee was no longer available I might as well just give up…lol It’s been my constant companion and therapy for the last couple of years…sheesh like I’m going to admit my age…I believe we’re all 21 at heart and in my case I wish I were now – to know the things then that I know now would have made a huge difference in my life. 21 or not I still have that moment when I look in the mirror and wonder just who the hell stole my face! It in itself is a wake up call.
A wake up call is to realize that time just keeps ticking away regardless of my heel dragging efforts. I still find every reason in the world to overlook the fact that every second gone is a second lost to the things I could’ve, should’ve and didn’t do. I ponder that thought as I waste yet more of those precious seconds. It’s depressing….then I realize…duh! I have to be the one who pushes me. Pushing myself will be one of the most dreaded things I have to do. The thought of failure scares the bejepers out of me and makes me cringe back and think….tomorrow will be a better day to put myself out there. Or the dreaded thought that, who really cares what I have to say? It’s nerve-wracking! And it’s not like I don’t have it in me, I’ve written a novel for crying out loud. It’s not published yet but it’s out there in e-world waiting for review. I also have several more in the works awaiting me patiently to put fingers to keys and complete them. Insecurities suck big time!
So the wake up call….that comes in so many forms (as I sip my coffee) can be those who see through the wall built around the insecurities. They tell you all the good qualities you’ve forgotten about yourself and that no matter what you shouldn’t give up. In my case that someone comes in toting a red bull (sugar free) and a quirked eyebrow telling me all the same things I’ve told them. After all turn-about is fair play. It’s easy to tell someone else to go for their dreams – not so easy when you can’t force yourself to do the same. So thank you wake up call, red bull drinking, eye quirking person, for yet again pushing me!
My motto: Don’t let the existence of my non-existence be my existance…it’s a mouthful I know. I don’t chant it but rather think it in my down moments before pushing myself out of my comfort zone – which would be this point in time. It’s not easy putting the thoughts and feelings you have out there for everyone to pick apart or with any luck relate to. Kinda heavy for a first blog but there you have it, my first official blog. I’ve woken up and have officially pinned my wings on (thank you red bull drinker for loaning them) and I’m on my way. Where they will take me? I don’t know – but I’ll blog about it 🙂
That leaves me with one question: Do you take your own advice….? Especially when the advice you’re giving relates to you as much as it does to them.